The Swarm: A Novel by Schätzing Frank

Author:Schätzing, Frank [Schätzing, Frank]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Science Fiction, thriller, Horror, Fantasy, Mystery, Contemporary
ISBN: 9780061803956
Goodreads: 10151623
Publisher: HarperCollins e-books
Published: 2004-02-17T08:00:00+00:00

11 May

Chateau Whistler, Canada

There was always a way of coming to terms with change. Or, at least, Johanson had always found one. Much as it had hurt him to lose his house, he knew he could live without it. Even the end of his marriage had been a new beginning. In Trondheim, his short-lived relationships had compounded his solitude - but none of it had bothered him. As far as he was concerned, anything that didn’t add to his aesthetic sensibilities or his appreciation of harmony could be consigned to the dustbin. The surface was something he shared with others but the depths he kept for himself. That was his way of getting on with life.

Now, though, in the early hours of the morning, other, more dissonant memories were emerging from the past. He hadn’t intended to open his left eye, but now that he had, he examined the world from a cyclopean view, thinking about those in his life who’d been destroyed by change.

His wife.

People grew up thinking that they controlled their lives. But he’d abandoned her, and she’d been forced to see that control was an illusion. She’d argued with him, pleaded with him, shouted, shown compassion, listened patiently, begged for his pity, and been left behind, disenfranchised, bundled out of their shared life. She’d stopped believing in her power to change anything. Life was a gamble, and she’d lost.

Was it his fault that he’d suddenly felt differently? Emotions were beyond innocence and guilt: they were biochemical reactions to the circumstances of life. It wasn’t very romantic, he knew, but endorphins meant more than any romance. So what was he guilty of? Of making promises that couldn’t be kept…

Johanson opened the other eye.

Change, for him, was the elixir of life. For her it had induced a kind of coma. Years later, when he was in Trondheim, friends had told him that she’d finally got back on her feet, taken charge of her life. After a while she’d found someone new. Johanson and she had chatted on the phone a few times, free from rancour or longing. The bitterness had destroyed itself, and he’d been released from the burden of guilt.

But now it was back.

It followed him around, with Tina Lund’s pale, pretty face. By now he had been through all the different scenarios. If they’d slept together at the lake, it would have changed everything. Maybe she would have joined him in the Shetlands. Or maybe it would have ruined everything, and he would have been the last person whose advice she would have taken - like when he’d encouraged her to visit Kare. Either way, she would still be alive.

He kept telling himself it was stupid to think like that.

But the thoughts kept returning.

The first rays of sunshine streamed into the room. He had left the curtains open as he always did: a bedroom with closed curtains was no better than a crypt. He wondered about getting up for breakfast, but he had no desire to move. Lund’s death filled him with sorrow.

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